It’s hard to believe that I haven’t written a blog post in forever but Baby O took over and made it hard for me to do just about anything. It’s surreal that I am finally writing this blog post. ~ I dreamed of being able to write a blog post about my pregnancy, even before I got my positive pregnancy test in July. This post is personal, but I feel it’s necessary to share. Whether you’re curious or in the same situation of TTC (trying to conceive.) – I wanted to share my experience and also have this for myself so I never forget how hard we tried for this little miracle baby.
To put this whole journey in perspective, Mike and I had been trying to have a baby for about a year. Around our 2 year anniversary we decided we were ready to start trying. Never did I think it would take us a year to make a baby. Newsflash: It’s freaking hard to make a baby. I honestly believe the wait made me appreciate this little babe so much more.
Each month I would get so hopeful and think “this is the month” and each month I would be let down. I finally ended up scheduling a doctors appointment because I thought for sure something was wrong. I went in June 15th to talk to my doctor. The appointment was basically me losing my shit and sobbing uncontrollably because I thought for sure something was wrong with me. God bless my doctor. I love her. She assured me I was fine and I would have a baby. She then told me about the “next steps” basically I would continue to try in June (I was ovulating that week) and if nothing happened I’d come in when I got my period and they would do some blood work, and then a few days later they would do a saline test.
I swear to you this doctor’s appointment is what helped me to chill out and get pregnant. Like I mentioned before, I was ovulating sometime that week between the 15th & 21st. Throughout the whole process of TTC, I tried to stay chill and calm and stress free. BUT it’s freakin hard when having a baby is on your mind 24/7.
Meeting with my doctor and having her tell me what the next steps would be helped to calm me down. I knew there was a plan. For months, I had no clue what would happen next. – if I would get pregnant or if I’d be disappointed again. Leaving that appointment my doctor told me to basically go home, have a drink, and try to make a baby. and I did (!!!) I did all of those things. I drank after months of choosing not to because I was nervous ~I might be pregnant.~ Because I was stress free, I ended up making a baby.
A few weeks went by and something was just different. I remember waiting for my period to come and it never did. So I waited a few more days, just to be sure. I finally worked up the confidence to take a pregnancy test because I was nervous I’d be disappointed yet again. Within seconds, there were two dark pink lines. I honestly could not believe it after months of never seeing a positive test. I called Mike upstairs to share the news. He swears that he knew I was pregnant the second I called him to come upstairs. Sharing the positive test with Mike was one of the happiest moments of my life and made all of the waiting so worth it. 🖤
If you’re going through the TTC journey and not getting pregnant right away it can definitely suck. Every new pregnancy announcement stung and made me feel like something was wrong with me. If you’re on this journey now, please know my heart goes out to you and I’d love to listen if you want to share, complain, or just cry. There were so many nights I would just sob because I didn’t understand what was taking so long. It makes me tearful now because it was just the worst. Knowing you want something SO bad but there’s nothing you can do but be patient just feels awful. But I swear that it is all worth it. Even when it felt terrible, I knew that the moment we had our positive pregnancy test would all be worth the wait.